in the chaos, in confusion...

"Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track. Don’t assume that you know it all. “
Proverbs 3:9

This has become one of the most life changing and scary verses of my life. Trusting God sounds easy, but when you have to use 4 months to make enough money to survive for a year, and God sends you to another country to “make disciples” and to a new town to start afresh and disciple some more—making close to $0 income—trusting God becomes a little more difficult. Add trying to convince your parents that you’re not crazy and not being irresponsible adds a whole other level of crazy to the mix.

But despite these hurdles, my game has become trusting God. I know He’ll provide for me, but it’s the fact that He’s sending me into situations that I could have never faced this time last year. If Kristen from 2009 was facing the summer I’m facing now, she would be puking her guts out in the nearest bathroom and developing a substantial ulcer. 

But God, knowing everything, prepared me through University experiences and not living at home for a year and through provision last year for my education, for this ridiculous summer. 

So here I sit. Two days from training at Camp IAWAH, which I have never even seen, let alone experienced in my life, and seven days from my very first missions trip to the Ukraine. Crazy? Unbelievable is more like it. 

And so the chaos begins. Again. Chaos of packing. Chaos of saying goodbye. Chaos of saying hello. Chaos of my stomach. Chaos of the unknown. 

But, deep down inside, I’m beginning not to mind it too much